Should You Trust Your Filipina? (5 Signs She Could be Scamming You) – foreignwifehappylife.com
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Should You Trust Your Filipina? (5 Signs She Could be Scamming You)

By Bob / January 14, 2019

Let’s talk about how can you can trust your Filipina.  Some of this comes from an article I will link in the description box and of course, I try to apply my own experience too.  There are plenty of ways a foreigner be reasonably sure if the Filipina he is interested is trustworthy.  

Discernment required

Trusting a woman from the other side of the world with all that is involved with a marriage is going to require discernment.  You are only able to know what she tells you and what you perceive.  At the end of the day, you’ll need to just trust her, but you should always begin with a little healthy skepticism (but don’t show it).

There are of course horror stories of men getting scammed, but forget there are also a lot of success stories too. I married my wife in 54 days and we have been married for over three and a half years.

If you have been burned in the past, try to avoid interrogating your Filipina.  You’re just trying to get to know her at first.  It may even be a good idea not to tell her that you have had a bad experience with a Filipina in the past (at least not at first).  Doing these things would get the possible relationship off to a bad start, and unnecessarily.

A Closer look

Is Testing a Filipina Necessary Before Marriage?

Six signs she may not be sincere

Initially, I would give her the benefit of the doubt until-

1) She calls you someone else’s name

It could be an honest mistake like I did once, or she might be chatting with multiple men looking for someone to take advantage of and has forgotten who she is talking to.

2) She contradicts herself

If you hear and apparent contradiction, it’s ok to ask for clarification.  While many Filipinas' English is good, sometimes she may not say something exactly right which can be a little confusing.

3) If she consistently is late or misses scheduled chat times with you

  Yes, there is “Philippine time” which means not feeling obliged to be on time, but if someone is serious about marrying a foreigner, I can’t imagine they would be too late.

4) If she asks for money early and often

It's never a good idea to send money to someone you've only met online. This is one of the most obvious red flags.  A lot of articles on Foreign Wife Happy Life talk about this. It's one of 4 Commandments of International Dating

5) If she uses terms of endearment or 

says "I love you" too soon

Another common sign to be caution of. 

"If things get hot and heavy real fast, or if a random woman you've never talked to is telling you her love for you burns with the passion of a thousand suns that's a red flag. There's also the "I'm lonely/hurt and hopeful that you will understand me" pitch too.

If you are thinking with half of your brain you can tell that these kinds of messages aren't natural. Normal people don't fall madly in love with a profile they just stumbled upon on a dating site."

-JD

Founder of Foreign Wife Happy Life


Eleven positive signs she is sincere

There are also positive signs that would make me inclined to trust her such as (By the way these are not all opposites of the above)…

1) Is on time for chats and is apologetic if she is late.  

My wife was five minutes early for our first Skype date.

2) If she doesn’t ask for money and even rejects an offer to help early on 

A Closer look

5 Best Sites for Dating in The Philippines


3) If she allows you to talk to her family via Skype or at least see them on camera

 I felt secure seeing her family in the background.  This doesn’t mean without exception that all is well, but I would feel less secure if she was chatting in an internet café.

4) If she allows someone you trust to chat with her on Skype

It's not a bad idea to get someone you trust (close friend, family member, etc) to chat with your Filipina and later share their opinion with you about their impression of her. In my case I had my pastor talk to my wife on Skype before we were married. 

Inviting someone you trust to weigh in on your relationship isn't a bad idea

5) If she wants to chat with your parents or siblings

To me that would show she thinks they might be a family one day.

6) If she has been working/has had a job

This could indicate she is mature and unselfish as typically earnings are shared with other family members.

7) If she displays modesty

In the way she dresses, speaks, and behaves.

8) If she talks about her family and wants to know about yours

This is generally a sign of intimacy and trust. 

A Closer look

Our Review of the Site Bob Used to Meet His Wife

9) If she is able to chat daily (for the most part)

This isn’t a must.  It may be that her hours don’t match up well with yours.  If she is working full time and is making time to chat with you, you’re likely the only one she is chatting with.

10) If she is willing to “go steady” with you

In other words, to focus on you while you focus on her.   My wife actually initiated this while we were dating (I think to have me prove I wasn’t just playing around with her feelings).  She hid her profile (I checked) and didn’t communicate with other men.  We spoke or messaged about four hours a day, more on weekends.

11) She lets you in and becomes vulnerable

The last reason I will list that would help me to trust her would be when she begins to open up about herself in a way that makes her vulnerable.  The very first time I knew I was beginning to have feelings for Aiza was when she told me about a troubling time in her life.  That’s when I felt we were connecting on a higher level. 

I think it was appropriate she didn’t do this right out of the gate.  One should admit they aren’t perfect, but not necessarily by unloading everything on the first date.  

These are things that help me to trust my love beyond the sea!

About the author

Bob

Happily married to a lovely Filipina Bob V loves to encourage and inform honest men who are looking for a serious relationship with a woman in the Philippines. You can find him at his channel Love Beyond the Sea.

6comments
Drew - February 19, 2019

Scammers are everywhere not only in the Philippines, so we really need to be careful especially in dating sites. I had this bad experience with a Filipina, but I don’t generalize every Filipina, we’ve met each other 4 times and i really thought she was the one for me because I already proposed to her but after a couple of months i found out that she’s been talking with some other boys online using a different name in some dating sites. I found out also that she even made love with a foreign guy twice as her age just because of the money. I was so fucked up that time and I don’t know what to do, If I only knew, i should have done an online loyalty test. We have to be careful especially those person we encountered online.

Reply
    Windy - October 19, 2019

    Oh well Drew,
    There is countless tales about the evil that lurks with Filipinas. It bewilders the mind just how they live with all that they do.
    After 6 years of what I believed was a really good marriage to a Filipina, she suddenly upped and left with our 4 year old daughter.
    Oh yeah, she had so many excuses for what she believes in so doing. Bottom line is Filipinas cannot be trusted. Not one damn bit of trust should be afforded to them.
    So, I blocked both of them, my daughter and her, off my mind to remain sane and healthy.
    Que Sera Sera.

    Reply
      Bob - November 13, 2019

      Many men are satisfied with their Filipina wives and can trust them because they are trustworthy.

      Reply
Bob - March 1, 2019

Wow Drew that’s disheartening. Whatever your loyalty test is, you’ll need to break it out next time.

4 times meeting in person? Are you able to look back and see what red flags you missed the first time? Hope the next time is better.

Reply
James - July 24, 2019

Listen in this time and age it is difficult to meet a woman who is not online on dating sites. However you have to look for red flags and test the woman. See if she talks every day to you. Does she ask about your family. If she asks money then stay away from her.

Reply
Bob - August 29, 2019

Sure, I don’t mean to say that there shouldn’t be a little skepticism initially. Rather that I don’t think a man needs to “set her up” with some kind of elaborate test. My first thought if I was told she tested me would be to dismiss her from consideration. Monitoring her consistency and honesty would be part of any dating relationship.

Reply
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