Let’s talk about how can you can trust your Filipina. Some of this comes from an article I will link in the description box and of course, I try to apply my own experience too. There are plenty of ways a foreigner be reasonably sure if the Filipina he is interested is trustworthy.
Discernment required
Trusting a woman from the other side of the world with all that is involved with a marriage is going to require discernment. You are only able to know what she tells you and what you perceive. At the end of the day, you’ll need to just trust her, but you should always begin with a little healthy skepticism (but don’t show it).
There are of course horror stories of men getting scammed, but forget there are also a lot of success stories too. I married my wife in 54 days and we have been married for over three and a half years.
If you have been burned in the past, try to avoid interrogating your Filipina. You’re just trying to get to know her at first. It may even be a good idea not to tell her that you have had a bad experience with a Filipina in the past (at least not at first). Doing these things would get the possible relationship off to a bad start, and unnecessarily.
A Closer look
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Six signs she may not be sincere
Initially, I would give her the benefit of the doubt until-
1) She calls you someone else’s name
It could be an honest mistake like I did once, or she might be chatting with multiple men looking for someone to take advantage of and has forgotten who she is talking to.
2) She contradicts herself
If you hear and apparent contradiction, it’s ok to ask for clarification. While many Filipinas' English is good, sometimes she may not say something exactly right which can be a little confusing.
3) If she consistently is late or misses scheduled chat times with you
Yes, there is “Philippine time” which means not feeling obliged to be on time, but if someone is serious about marrying a foreigner, I can’t imagine they would be too late.
4) If she asks for money early and often
It's never a good idea to send money to someone you've only met online. This is one of the most obvious red flags. A lot of articles on Foreign Wife Happy Life talk about this. It's one of 4 Commandments of International Dating.
5) If she uses terms of endearment or
says "I love you" too soon
Another common sign to be caution of.
"If things get hot and heavy real fast, or if a random woman you've never talked to is telling you her love for you burns with the passion of a thousand suns that's a red flag. There's also the "I'm lonely/hurt and hopeful that you will understand me" pitch too.
If you are thinking with half of your brain you can tell that these kinds of messages aren't natural. Normal people don't fall madly in love with a profile they just stumbled upon on a dating site."
-JD
Founder of Foreign Wife Happy Life
Eleven positive signs she is sincere
There are also positive signs that would make me inclined to trust her such as (By the way these are not all opposites of the above)…
1) Is on time for chats and is apologetic if she is late.
My wife was five minutes early for our first Skype date.
2) If she doesn’t ask for money and even rejects an offer to help early on
A Closer look
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3) If she allows you to talk to her family via Skype or at least see them on camera
I felt secure seeing her family in the background. This doesn’t mean without exception that all is well, but I would feel less secure if she was chatting in an internet café.
4) If she allows someone you trust to chat with her on Skype
It's not a bad idea to get someone you trust (close friend, family member, etc) to chat with your Filipina and later share their opinion with you about their impression of her. In my case I had my pastor talk to my wife on Skype before we were married.
Inviting someone you trust to weigh in on your relationship isn't a bad idea
5) If she wants to chat with your parents or siblings
To me that would show she thinks they might be a family one day.
6) If she has been working/has had a job
This could indicate she is mature and unselfish as typically earnings are shared with other family members.
7) If she displays modesty
In the way she dresses, speaks, and behaves.
8) If she talks about her family and wants to know about yours
This is generally a sign of intimacy and trust.
A Closer look
Our Review of the Site Bob Used to Meet His Wife
9) If she is able to chat daily (for the most part)
This isn’t a must. It may be that her hours don’t match up well with yours. If she is working full time and is making time to chat with you, you’re likely the only one she is chatting with.
10) If she is willing to “go steady” with you
In other words, to focus on you while you focus on her. My wife actually initiated this while we were dating (I think to have me prove I wasn’t just playing around with her feelings). She hid her profile (I checked) and didn’t communicate with other men. We spoke or messaged about four hours a day, more on weekends.
11) She lets you in and becomes vulnerable
The last reason I will list that would help me to trust her would be when she begins to open up about herself in a way that makes her vulnerable. The very first time I knew I was beginning to have feelings for Aiza was when she told me about a troubling time in her life. That’s when I felt we were connecting on a higher level.
I think it was appropriate she didn’t do this right out of the gate. One should admit they aren’t perfect, but not necessarily by unloading everything on the first date.
These are things that help me to trust my love beyond the sea!
