When pursuing a Filipina with the the hope to marry, it is normal to wonder if she is marrying you for the money. A Filipina you are interested in won’t have the material means you will, so it makes sense that she could marry someone to better her situation.
But there is a difference between marrying a foreigner FOR his money and marrying a foreigner because you are poor, your family is poor and you want to help your family like you probably have been doing already for a while.
There's nothing wrong with wanting a better life
I think it would be very good for any man interested in a Filipina to recognize that women from poor countries, don’t want to be poor and they don’t want their families to be poor, and if they have an opportunity to marry a foreigner in a better situation, they will do that.
If they could marry someone where they live, they would certainly do that, but if they don’t see that as an option, and she is attractive enough to get a foreign husband, she would be remiss not to do that. It does not mean that she has no interest in being a wife.
I have always encouraged my wife to be generous to her family in the Philippines and I like to help too. With recent marriages and children and the potential for more of each, my wife thought that something needed to be done about the increasing lack of space in her family's house.
It's not necessarily all or nothing
If the Filipina is a good companion, lover, takes care of the house, generally meets your needs, then she is serious about being a wife too. It doesn’t have to be a case of “she loves the money but not me at all.” I think money or provision or security is always going to be an important element for a Filipina and a man would do well to accept this, and I think you do.
The Filipina could think ‘Does he love me or my body or looks? When my looks go, then what is he going to do?” Needless to say the physical attraction is always going to be important to the man, but for a good man it won't be the only thing.
Red flag, green flag
Let’s say she loves what the money can do but doesn’t love the man, what does this look like?
If she asks for money early or often it's a bad sign. The kind of Filipina you want is ashamed to ask you for money, she wants to prove to you that she can take care of herself. I can’t tell you never to send money (she may need it) but many Filipinas just won’t ask. It is a red flag if she asks early and a green flag if she doesn’t.
Please avoid telling her early on “Don’t ask me for any money”, because that will offend a good Filipina. It would also signal to her that you don’t trust Filipinas and you might miss out on a good one. If she is setting you up for later, it will come out. A good Filipina knows that you know there are gold-diggers and doesn’t want you to think she is like that.
If she talks dirty or suggestively or shows more skin that is needed-She has probably done this a lot (with success) and is trying to appeal to your sexual desires. I wouldn’t trust that this woman is in it for love. That is a checkered flag; the race is over, time to look for another Filipina in my opinion.
A third indication she might be in it for the money is if there always seems to be a crisis in her life or her family’s life. My wife never made mention of something like this.
I can think of more signs she isn’t marrying your primarily for your money-
If she refuses your offer to help, this is a green flag.
If she doesn’t ask about your savings, pension, 401-K, this is good. I think it is acceptable to ask you about your occupation, just like people do here in the states.
She needs to know you can provide for her
Here is a caveat: at some point when the relationship is going well, I think the Filipina should ask if you would be able to provide for her. This is why she is looking to marry a foreigner.
It doesn’t mean she isn’t going to be a good wife. She will want a man with good character. It is like a man not being allowed to ask a woman what she looks like (there are dating sites where some women don’t post photos).
A better way might be for the man to bring this up to her in general that he is able to support her. He doesn’t have to go into all the details.
I know a man who has an excellent net worth but I don’t think he should make this known right away. If this is the case I wouldn’t make mention of it until I felt like I had the right one.
If I remember right, I was engaged before I disclosed everything to her, when I met her in the Philippines to marry her. Before that I probably told her that I wasn’t in debt and had a good job. It is a good idea to help her find a job but are you able to support the two of you until she does?
She reacts calmly or indifferently-This could be a good sign she isn’t marrying primarily for the money.
IF she isn’t talking about materialistic things a lot.
IF she wants to work in your country.
She will want a better life. She will also be looking for a man she can trust, be loyal, a man who can be a good husband. Keep in mind, she also wants to find love beyond the sea!